OWL Help You, while you've helped me

I know it's been a long time coming since I last hit that "publish" button on this page. 

In the mean time I have been developing my own company entitled "O.W.L. Help You: Opportunity, Wellness, Life."  Check it out at www.owlhelpyou.org and on facebook at www.facebook.com/owlhelpyou (make sure you like it!).  Please provide constructive criticism as you see fit... I am totally new to this webpage development, as well as creating my own little "side hustle."

So what is it that I do with this?  I provide Life Coaching, Wellness Coaching and pretty much therapy while I'm at it... since I AM a clinical social worker and all.  I just do not accept private insurances for the time being, but that will change eventually.  Whatever the issue, I should be able to help.  However, if a higher level of care is deemed appropriate I WILL make that referral.  :)  Thank you all for your support and encouragement thus far.  I hope to be able to coach people with running, all while training myself.  So many times people complain or use the excuse that they do not want to go to the gym alone or they know no one else, etc... well I'll be able to take that excuse away and go with them.  I'm pretty excited about that.  :)  It will keep me on track and what's more encouraging than providing encouragement for someone else along the way?!

But since I last hit publish, what else have I been doing?  Well, interviewing for various positions trying to find the best fit while awaiting credentialing for private practice (ugh, tedious).  Within the past couple of weeks I have received a large influx of opportunities, so we will see where that brings me.  It's funny though because as I interview and look at job opportunities my second priority is finding a local gym, hehe.

I went running once... (I think, since hitting the last publish button).  It was a nice, lonely run in the frigid cold... but so awesome.  Okay, maybe I've gone twice.  I also went to TRX three times, but only went in twice because one of the times I forgot my sneaks... yeah, I KNOW.  ONLY ME. 

However, in going to an interview last week I had to obviously dress up and avoid my workout/lounge clothes... ha, that was a joke.  I put on my "skinnier" dress pants from this summer to find that I am already swimming in them.  A single digit dress pant size and it's big on me.  Looks like I will have get a whole new wardrobe when I do begin to attend the professional atmosphere once again. 

See:

....
and then my mom came up from North Carolina.  Don't worry.  I went to TRX today at Fit Coalition for the first time. I already popped an Aleve.  :-p  But I am most certainly going to be sore tomorrow!  Or this evening.

I think it's fascinating how every trainer is so different.  It's definitely all about finding one that will work for you.  That goes with any relationship in life.  You need to find a husband that works for you, with you, not against you.  You need a therapist that works for you, with you, not against you.  You need a boyfriend that works for you, with you, not against you.  You need a Life Coach that works for you, with you, not against you.  You need a doctor that works for you, with you, not against you.  You need friends that work for you, with you, not against you.  I think you get the point.

The really awesome thing about that?.... yeah, you get to CHOOSE those people.  I know that many grapple with the fact that everything in our life is a choice, everything.. from how we think, to how we feel, to what we do next.

YOU have the power.  Sometimes we feel as if we don't.  But we do.  It's all about taking that first step...

I have learned in my short 29.5 years that we get to choose.  Even when things are difficult, we still get to choose... just as we get to choose when things are at their all time high.  Just move forward, tip toe if you must!    (if you want to continue seeing these daily motivators, like facebook.com/owlhelpyou)

My good buddy is now blogging about his own change in his life, as well as how to change, when to change, why we should change or why we shouldn't.  If you want to read about that, check out: http://thechadanthony.blogspot.com/

Some people or maybe all people will not agree with your change or your choice.  I have learned that in a very difficult choice that I made in my past.  You win some, you lose some... but in the end, you are right where you need to be at that moment.  Even in the movie "Planes", Dusty arrives in India and asks something similar to the question, "am I where I am supposed to be?"  That is the question to life that we must answer.  And only YOU have the CHOICE to CHANGE the outcome.

Two thousand and fourteen.

So... my "life" recently has not been all that exciting.  It's been a month since I last updated this blog.  Which also means it has been a month since I last worked out.  I continued doing the tea detox and ate as mindfully as I could without getting my emotions involved.  I am down to 141 and maintaining that weight... which I think is around the most healthiest weight for me.  I haven't really taken any pictures of myself recently... just head shots... and God knows... we ALL love selfies:

Begin rant:
  I am SO sick of reading about people hating "selfies" and that people that take them are just "oh so self centered."  Do what I do... unfollow them.  It's not like a post a gazillion of them a day.  And if I did... so what... I would just scan over all of them like anything else that doesn't hold my interest.  You wanna know what else has deterred me from working out?... reading a comment that showed up on my Facebook wall implying that no ones workout is as HARD or as DIFFICULT as a specific workout that they have experienced and that those working on their fitness have no reason to complain.  YA KNOW WHAT... that REALLY got to me.  I haven't worked out since because why should I?  Apparently my workouts are not that hard or difficult and I shouldn't say anything about them.  I SHOULD use that as fuel to burn my ass off.  But it just really irritates me that there are people that are constantly AND consistently putting down others... at the sake of what?!  Themselves, really.  I shouldn't let it get to me, but I know it's personal.  However, I digress.  My workouts are HARD and they are DIFFICULT.  If they weren't, I would still be doing them.  But they ARE HARD and challenging and difficult... I have lost interest because people are assholes and have to constantly demean others just to get their HEAD a little bigger. 
End rant.

Therefore, I am going to start over and get back on track.  Because, I am human.  I do fall off the wagon.  I do let my emotions get the best of me... and quite frankly, December was awful.  I have started pushing people away and am just getting so sick of rejection (for many, many reasons).  I know it's all in my head, but that doesn't make it not real to me.

I am hoping for a more positive 2014.  I have started making changes and am only in contact with those that I find most supportive of me. 

In the mean time I have been gathering tools and resources so that I can be the most successful me when I do get back at it.  I know you're probably thinking to yourself.. well what are you waiting for?

Honestly?

For this negative feeling to subside.  I know I have mentioned before that being a social worker defines who I am.. and without that I feel like I am nothing.  This credentialing thing is taking far too long and I have started to seek out other avenues for obtaining a paycheck.  I am so behind on everything it's not even funny, which has obviously taken a toll on "doing me."  How the hell can I concentrate on anything when I don't know how I am going to survive; keep a roof over my head, food on the table, car on the road, etc.  I have cut everything back to only the necessities and with Christmas last month, it just took it's toll.  I'm hoping the office is ready for me this month because I am ready to get back it.  In the mean time, I AM looking elsewhere and elsewhere just isn't cutting it much lately.  All while trying to be mindful and live in the moment... which I have gotten VERY good at recently, because there's no point in worrying about paying for something when I ain't got the funds or a money tree.  I think it's frozen.  And it's not from a lack of trying. 

I've thought about going back to school and starting over, but that doesn't put food on the table or pay the mortgage, I'll just accumulate more debt.  Therefore, I have started applying for jobs that "interest" me, even if I don't qualify for them... such as a fitness coach.  I'm a quick learner, smart and a goal setter.  Tell me what to do and I'll go above and beyond what you expect.  I have a significant track record for that.  :) 

I want to truly thank those that have reached out and know how much I've lost motivation, my true friends for sending me class passes to my favorite workouts (which I have yet to attend :(), sending me an e-book on meditation and running, giving me shoutouts for being their inspiration, for texting me on the "how to's" and asking for my advice, etc.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart and I promise you that I will show you who's boss in 2014, once I find my motivation that I seemed to have left behind in two thousand and thirteen.

<3

 ooops.. a "selfie".  Piss off...